Outside the supermarket

There is a guy sits every day outside the supermarket below the office where I work. Every Friday, when I am there, I fetch him a doughnut from the in-store bakery. The last Friday of the month, payday, I gift him a doughnut and a bottle of orange juice, full of Vitamin C.

“Here’s your doughnut, pal.” He acknowledges me by lifting his hand to take it. “Happy Friday!” I say. “And a juice! It’s payday!”

Then, the last Friday of last month, instead of just reaching up with his other hand as he always does, he looks up, his screwed-up eyes red, and says, quietly, “Go away. Just go away and leave me alone”.

And I put the juice down next to him, next to the flat cap he has laid on the pavement, the one with two silver coins and lots of coppers in it and go back into my building, my supermarket sandwich and mango slices in my carrier bag.

The next Friday I take the lift down to the basement and go out to the supermarket through the underground car park. I pick up a doughnut and put it down again.

my skin touched the skin of a martyr

My skin touched the skin of a martyr

many years before. I was trying to protect him

from being attacked. His glasses were broken

into his face and his blood was on my sleeve.

That jacket still hangs

in the back of my wardrobe. I had forgotten it was there

but when I heard went and checked.

It’s old and worn out and tight on the shoulders

and speckled with dried-in black blood.

I washed the blood from my hands

when I went home that evening

and forgot all about it for twenty five years.