Away

He took a pre-emptive swig from the bottle of indigestion remedy, put it back in his pocket and strode with a sigh into the bodega. “Now listen here, compadre” he said, as patiently as he could. The barman looked at Johnny. “Sì?”

“I DO NOT WANT PIGEON PIE WITH MY FINO, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

The barman looked at him. So did the other people in the bar. Johnny belched quietly. He heard himself being too loud. He did not want to seem unreasonable.

“Yes, of course, mister Johnny. No pigeon pie this time. Nothing to eat at all? I recommend –”

“There is only one thing I want. I told you last time but you gave me that pigeon pie. It’s lying heavy, let me tell you.”

“Senor?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just give me what I asked for before.”

“Of course senor. Here is your fino. And this one is on the house.”

Johnny flushed. “Thank you. But to eat?”

“I am sorry mister Johnny. But here we do not have the macaroni pie.”

Johnny sat heavily on the wooden stool and closed his eyes. He sank the sherry in front of him in a swallow and a single tear squeezed from his eye. He rubbed it into his cheek. He had been away too long.

Smile at strangers

Exercise every day except for rest days and delete your browsing history so you are not distracted tomorrow.

The fridge-freezer may well be your friend but do not overdo it. Freezing does not remove calories. Think of the polar bears and floss properly.

Write in your diary at least twice a day after coffee and stretch even when you don’t need to. Though not after coffee.

Pyjamas are for nightwear and mornings and evenings. Perhaps midday and afternoons too depending on season and circumstance.

Read a short story or a chapter of a book before you go to bed and after. Have at least three books bookmarked. Do not crack their spines especially if poems.

Moisturise. You know it makes sense. Smile at strangers.