How many heartbeats

How many heartbeats in a lifetime?
How many can I save for you?

In ancient times it was believed that, illness and violence permitting, you lived until your heart had beat a certain number of times. I think I read somewhere recently that scientists had found some evidence for this.

My heart races, chases, races when I am with you.
I feel my box of heartbeats ebb towards empty.

It makes sense I suppose. All other things being equal, heart muscle bumps and thumps until it tires, slows (perhaps) and stops.

I lie, relax and stretch when I know you will not be with me.
I feel my chest rise, fall, rise again. I feel the heartbeat slow.

Because, you see, if I don’t use too many heartbeats when you are not here, I have more to use when you are.

I’m saving all my love for you. My love.
I’m saving all my heart for you. My love.

*****

How many heartbeats in a lifetime?
How many can I save for you?

My heart races, chases, races when I am with you.
I feel my box of heartbeats ebb towards empty.

I lie, relax and stretch when I know you will not be with me.
I feel my chest rise, fall, rise again. I feel the heartbeat slow.

I’m saving all my love for you. My love.
I’m saving all my heart for you. My love.

This will be the mother

This will be the mother of all days.
The day when all the ways I miss you
will be revealed. And all the devils
in the detail, and all the stories I still write
for you, tall tales of shameless derring do,
of fisher folk on the tempested seas,
all the tiny hints I write
for you to seize on,
knowing you will never read them
or even know they are there.
Oh, this will be the mother of all days.