Santa-hatted men jig side to side,
accordions balanced on bellies.
Tourists stare up at the castle and down at their phones,
scrolling through maps in their mittens.
All Iain wants is to get home from his work.
He’s wearing antlers and tinsel but his bus has been cancelled.
It’s December 11th. I was be-antlered in the office today – be-antlered, not cornuto. Too soon, everyone said. But it’s Christmas two weeks today, I said. That’s not what we mean, they said, and looked at Kieren.
The turkey and the Queen had been and gone. Sofa-slumped in stupor, clutching bellies, nobody wanted to dance or sing so Vikki began to play charades. Soon everyone knew what she had seen Mummy doing with Santa Claus.
Ted swung his fist but the mulled wine made him miss. Uncle Nick made a dash for it. Snow blew in through the open door and Ted’s words flew back to him. “Is it a film?” Vikki asked.
Published on http://www.paragraphplanet.com 04 January 2016
The tree stood in an old flowerpot wrapped in red tissue. Tina sprayed it with bleach against allergens then with hairspray to stop needledrop. She wrapped it with tinsel and wove lights around the branches. Finally the crowning glory: the fairy from the shoebox was placed ceremoniously on top. A minute later she sneezed, opened her eyes, shook her head and flew out of the window. Tina stared, open-mouthed. In the kitchen Rocky was barking.
First published on http://www.paragraphplanet.com 22 December 2015